How Do You Talk to Your Teenage Daughters so You’re Engaged Together?

20 Ways Not to Talk To Your Teenage Daughter

Teenage daughters are sensitive to the way people in authority talk to them, especially their mothers.

They are easily wounded, feel criticized, and vulnerable when they sense or get outright disapproval. Even the most devoted mothers hear their girls say, “You don’t understand me.” So, let’s look at what not to say!

20 Sentences to Avoid When Mothers Talk to Their Daughters

  1. “You are such a disappointment.”
  2. “Don’t you ever listen?”
  3. “Fix your hair.”
  4. “Are you really going to wear that?”
  5. “Who were you on the phone with?”
  6. “When are you going to talk to that teacher?”
  7. “Get it together.”
  8. “That’s a terrible habit. Stop biting your nails.”
  9. “Give it up. Just apologize!”
  10. “You’re too sensitive.”
  11. “Mothers are people, too.”
  12. “Clean your room.”
  13. “Finish your college essays.”
  14. “Let me read your college essays.”
  15. “Watch what you eat.”
  16. “Play with your brother.”
  17. “Keep your hands off your face.”
  18. “Don’t you ever think?”
  19. “Now you’ve done it.”
  20. “It’s really for your own good.”


Each teenage girl is actually different. They all go through stages in their own specific and unique ways and need to know you know that. Being different is good. Who needs ordinary and acceptable? Don’t you wish somebody knew that when you were a teen?

PI Facebook Banner-mazeLaurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with a new book, Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior, found on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Familius and wherever books are sold. Find more about the book and how it helps moms with teens on Dr. Hollman’s website:


About the Author:

Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with specialized clinical training in infant-parent, child, adolescent, and adult psychotherapy. She has been on the faculties of New York University and the Society for Psychoanalytic Study and Research, among others. She has written extensively on parenting for various publications, including the Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, The International Journal of Infant Observation, The Inner World of the Mother, Newsday’s Parents & Children Magazine, Long Island Parent. She writes her popular column, PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE, at Moms Magazine and blogs for Huffington Post. Her new book is Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior.