I am a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist in New York. After practicing for three decades with children, teens, and adults I have found today’s political climate is feeling threatening to many people I treat. While many children and adults who suffer from anxiety disorders seek treatment with psychotherapy and often medication, recently I am finding children and adults are reporting increased anxiety due to what they are hearing in the news.
Author • Psychoanalyst • Artist
Stages in Adolescence: Early, Middle and Late
Understanding stages in adolescence is very important to parents when they want to comprehend what their teens are going through. Their chronological age may not correspond to their developmental age so perceptions may be different than what is expected.
Early Adolescence
Early adolescence is a time when kids begin to separate from their parents internally and physically. This creates a kind of loss for kids who may be despondent without knowing why. To find realistic disappointments in parents who have seemed so influential and authoritative is a shift in the teen’s understanding of themselves in relation to their parents. Reality sets in. Parents aren’t perfect and powerful. It’s important for parents to recognize the change without feeling badly about it but in fact learning to collaborate more with their child in solving problems.
Who Knows Your Child Best? You Do!
How Parents Foster Positive Emotional Development
Becoming a keen observer of your child may go even further in fostering positive emotional development than self-help articles, parenting books, and parenting websites and blogs. As a writer of all of those, it may seem surprising for me make this suggestion, but you’re the one who spends the most time with your child, was there from the beginning, can track changes in moods, social encounters, learning styles, and interests in activities.
So, who can learn to be a better judge of your child’s emotional well-being than you?
What Should DADS Do for New and Seasoned Mothers on Mothers’ Day?
If your partner has not had a mother’s day before then it’s time to step up, Dads, and make your mark on her special day. If she’s had many Mother’s Days before, make this one the one she’ll remember with joy.
20 Hints for a Unique Mother’s Day:
- Let her sleep late!
This is the prime, number 1 gift to give. She gets to sleep until she naturally rises in the morning or afternoon!
- Help your kids during the week each make a present for her especially from them. Buying is fine but creating your own gift is even more special.
Be Present When it Matters
Parents need to be around when it matters for their kids – crisis times such as down days, difficult exams, relationship breakdowns, changes in family dynamics and important transition times. How do you know what stresses them out? How do you make it clear that you are available anytime your child needs to talk.
How Do You Recognize What is a Crisis for Your Child?
- Notice mood changes. If you have a usually gregarious child who has been blocking everyone out, something is probably on his mind.
- If you have a more reserved child, but they seem scattered and disorganized which is out of character, again pay attention.
Helping Kids Feel Safe By Using Parental Intelligence
Nothing is more basic to an infant, a child, and an adolescent than feeling and staying safe. This applies not only to physical safety but to emotional safety based on trust in attachment to at least one parent. Without this, all else of importance falls away. A sense of safety is at the core of Parental Intelligence.
How Do We Know If Our Children Feel Emotionally Safe?
There are two ways to learn if our children feel safe: to listen to them carefully and to observe the nuances of their behavior.
She’s Not Bossy, She’s a Leader: 10 Ways to Know a Bossy Child from a Potential Leader
It’s so common to see little three and four-year-olds telling their peers and adults what to do with such ferocity you wonder where that gumption came from. It stops being cute when they keep demanding their way and you find yourself helpless to curb their appetites for getting what they want from others all the time. They expect their peers to play what they choose, follow their rules for as long as they want until they change the rules to suit them or change the game.
7 Effective Ways to Instantly Feel Calmer, As Backed by Science
Do yuou want to calm down instantly?
Are you stressed out, anxious, and irritated looking for some quick ways to effectively calm yourself down? Here are a few suggestions that I’ve repeatedly discovered help my patients as their psychotherapist:
- SMILE! Smiling actually releases endorphins and lifts your spirits and relaxes you.
- Look outside of yourself. This means look out a window, take a walk, focus on what’s around you and just as the smile releases endorphins, so does a shift in focus and brisk walk.
Stages in Adolescence: Early, Middle, and Late Development
Understanding stages in adolescence is very important to parents when they want to comprehend what their teens are going through. Their chronological age may not correspond to their developmental age so perceptions may be different than what is expected.
Early Adolescence
Early adolescence is a time when kids begin to separate from their parents internally and physically. This creates a kind of loss for kids who may be despondent without knowing why. To find realistic disappointments in parents who have seemed so influential and authoritative is a shift in the teen’s understanding of themselves in relation to their parents. Reality sets in. Parents aren’t perfect and powerful. It’s important for parents to recognize the change without feeling badly about it but in fact learning to collaborate more with their child in solving problems.
Rushing to Work When Your Child Has Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is a problem for parents when they need to go to work. This creates a conflict for a busy parent rushing in the early morning hours. What to do?
Because your child has separation anxiety, always leave at least half an hour of free time before you leave for work. This probably means getting up earlier, but it’s worth it.
- Listen to your crying child’s words of fear about you leaving. Paraphrase their worry so they know you listened and care. (“I know you’re upset I’m leaving the house now. It’s distressing.”)