Empowering the Nurturing Father
Research in the last decade narrows the parenting field for fathers. It claims that fathers leave nurturing to mothers. It claims that encouraging risk-taking is the province of fathers. Mothers should take exception to this idea and can encourage shared parenting.
Mothers Support Nurturing Fathers
Mothers want their spouses to help nurture their children. There are many ways to join with your partner to share in the child rearing experience. Supporting fathers can be done in several ways.
- Encourage fathers be involved in pregnancy, hold their infants in the delivery room after cutting the cord, feed their babies and rock them to sleep. These are nurturing fathers.
- Encourage fathers to share the care and feeding of their children. If you are nursing, your husband can be speaking to you and your baby, so your infant hears his voice.
- Fathers need compliments. Give them profusely.
How Do Fathers’ Hold Their Babies?
Fathers need to know that holding their babies is a way to foster a sense of safety and security. The research says that mothers hold their baby with his or her face in the crook of her neck, so the baby looks at her. In contrast, fathers hold the baby’s bum in his upturned hand to the side of his chest cocked away from his body, so he sees the world.
Here’s an experiment for moms and dads: With no explanation moms take a doll or a pillow role played as a baby and give it to their husband. Spontaneously, they say, “Hold the baby” and see what the husband does. My husband held the doll in a rocking position. What did you discover?
I think fathers are much more nurturing than they are given credit for and as mothers we need to support fathers’ care. Do you agree?
Who Uses the Five Steps to Parental Intelligence? Does Gender Matter?
Parental Intelligence is a new concept for many, but I have practiced it my whole mothering life with my husband. My kids were raised with Parental Intelligence. In my psychotherapy practice, parents learn to Unlock their Parental Intelligence. Does gender matter when it comes to the five steps?
Step One: Stepping Back
Both mothers and fathers can learn to pause, wait, and consider their child’s behavior before deciding what it means and what to do. In fact, if either parent is feeling angry and impulsive, the other parent can buffer the child by helping their partner settle down and step back.
Step Two: Self-Reflecting
Decades ago, I have to admit, it was generally believed that women were more likely to be self-reflective about their feelings than men. But today, I don’t find that to be the case at all. Nurturing fathers own their feelings and express them.
Step Three: Understanding Your Child’s Mind
Today, both mothers and fathers are very curious about understanding their child’s mind. They want to know how to find out what their kids are thinking, feeling, intending, imagining. They seek parenting advice on how to do this. Understanding Your Child’s Mind is an essential part of Parental Intelligence. Nurturing fathers are involved in this exploration.
Step Four: Understanding Child Development
It may have been the case years ago that the child development book stayed on the mother’s side of the bed on her night stand. Today, however, fathers, even expectant fathers are reading more about their child’s milestones and learning what they can expect of their child at different ages.
Step Five: Problem Solving
After going through the first four steps, the meanings behind the child’s behavior have usually surfaced and both parents are ready to problem solve. In single parent families,either gender is capable of carrying out problem solving using their skills for empathy as they collaborate with their child about what they are struggling with and find options to solve their problems.
Mothers can support fathers nurturing and share in their use the Five Steps of Parental Intelligence. This is the genius of co-parenting.