The Busy Parent’s Guide to Managing Exhaustion in Children and Teens

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Title: The Busy Parent's Guide to Managing Exhaustion in Children and Teens: The Parental Intelligence Way
Published by: Familius
Release Date: June 9, 2020
Pages: 112
ISBN13: 978-1641702430

Busy Parent Guides: Quick Reads for Powerful Solutions


Do you have an exhausted child or teen? Do you wonder why your child seems drained, overtired, moody, anxious, and depressed? Are you uncertain if and when you should be worried about the amount of sleep they get?

In this book, the reader will see how exhaustion is a symptom of varied problems that have a wide range of meanings. You will meet many exhausted children and teens: a two-year-old with excessive naps to avoid feelings of loss; an over-scheduled eight-year-old worrying about perfectionism and parental approval; an eleven-year-old going through puberty; a fourteen-year-old dealing with divorce and a break-up; a sixteen-year-old super athlete with ambitious career goals; and a seventeen-year-old highly competitive valedictorian.

Recommendations for adequate sleep will be explained. Special problems will also be explored such as kids with parents of marital problems or dual working parents; an emphasis on being the smartest kids globally; burn out, depression and anxiety; insufficient free play time; and the effects of screen time. The science of exhaustion will be explored including the effects on memory, school performance, mood regulation, pain sensitivity, and the immune function.

Using the 5 steps of The Parental Intelligence Way, parents will learn how to identify and alleviate the various reasons their kids are exhausted affecting their productivity, mental health and social behavior.

The audio is narrated by actor, Rich Hollman, son of the author, who was raised The Parental Intelligence Way.


"[Dr. Laurie Hollman's] method promotes a working dialogue and mutual understanding between parents and their children which I believe extends beyond the resolution of the problem at hand. This is a worthwhile read for any parent or anyone who works with children and I highly recommend it."
Barbara G Deutsch MD, Certified in Psychiatry, American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, Adult and Child Psychiatry, Certified in Psychoanalysis, American Psychoanalytic Association, Adult and Child Psychiatry

"Through a series of easily understood explanations of exhaustion and the creative use of anecdotes to clearly illustrate the principles involved, Dr. Hollman takes the reader on a journey which illuminates the pathway to enhanced understanding and compassion for our dearest partners and children. Please read this book!!! It can make a profound addition to your life."
Ernest Kovacs, M.D., F.A.P.A., Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Supervisor for Marital and Family Psychotherapy, Zucker Hillside Hospital Northwell Health

"Dr. Hollman has done it again! Contained in this handy guide is practical information along with insightful case studies and sound advice regarding the negative psychological effects of sleep deprivation on children and adolescents and what to do about it... Dr. Hollman does an excellent job of pointing toward wiser parenting choices that alleviate the stressors causing sleep deprivation and forge stronger and more meaningful family bonds."
Lynn Seskin, Psy.D., Clinical Psychologist; Behavioral Medicine Associates of New York; Behavioral Medicine of Pennsylvania

"Dr. Hollman’s new book gives a concise account of these techniques and, with the aid of helpful real-life examples, shows how to use them to solve problems of exhaustion in children and teens. An excellent resource!"
Janet Wilde Astington, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, Institute of Child Psychology, University of Toronto; Editor, Minds in the Making

"Children’s exhaustion is a neglected yet vitally important issue with implications for many aspects of their lives. Dr. Hollman illustrates how her approach to parenting can be applied to this issue in order to improve the lives of children and their families."
Jeremy Carpendale, Ph.D., Professor of Developmental Psychology, Department of Psychology, Simon Fraser University, Burnaby, BC VSA 156 Canada

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After thirty years of experience as a psychoanalyst doing psychotherapy with children and adults, I’ve noted how exhausted kids can get. This inspired me to address busy parents with an exploration of how exhaustion is a major factor in the well-being of their children and teens.

Exhaustion is extreme mental or physical fatigue, a form of depletion of resources. Exhaustion also results from enervation, a feeling of being drained of energy or vitality; a weariness and fatigue that occurs when kids feel depleted due to stress.

Exhaustion due to acute sleep deprivation leads to decreased vigilance and alterations in mood, cognition, and mental and physical health. Many children live in a state of partial sleep deprivation. Exhaustion in adolescence is considered epidemic. Sleep deprivation leads to deficits in children and adolescents ability to learn, discover and explore their environment, expand their minds, and get along well with others. Sleep deprivation also affects how their bodies chemically process foods they’ve eaten and how their immune system fights infections.

I am motivated to help parents understand how their different youngsters with a wide range of needs, beliefs, intentions, and goals may be suffering from exhaustion for a vast array of underlying reasons and problems. Using the tools of the Parental Intelligence Way, parents become “meaning-makers” empowered to read the thoughts and feelings underlying the various reasons leading to their child’s exhaustion.

It is my intention for parents to learn how to problem solve with their children and teens to resolve the particular causes for their specific kids’ exhaustion.

As my previous books have revealed parents across the globe have used Parental Intelligence to not only collaborate with their kids to solve problems such as those caused by exhaustion but also to strengthen their relationships and find unsurpassed joy in parenting.


Chapter One
The Parental Intelligence Way

Exhaustion carries a message
It’s an invitation for understanding

While individual parents all face unique challenges, I have discovered many commonalities that affect their varied situations. To help parents face these challenges effectively, I have developed five powerfully valuable steps that allow every busy parent—no matter how different their circumstances—to find meaning behind their child’s exhaustion. Beyond that, parents can intelligently and compassionately resolve any underlying problems.

The five steps to Parental Intelligence elaborated on in “Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior” (2015) are:
1. Stepping Back
2. Self-Reflecting
3. Understanding Your Child’s Mind
4. Understanding Your Child’s Development
5. Problem Solving

Together, these five steps provide a road map to help you get to your destination: the place where you understand the meaning behind your child’s exhaustion. What was once obscure will become clear. When the meaning or meanings behind the exhaustion are understood, it is much easier to decide the best ways to handle the situation. Although the unfolding steps are described in sequence, it is valuable to go back and forth among them as you unlock your Parental Intelligence. Especially when handling step five, the problem-solving step, it can be helpful to look back at step two, self-reflecting, and step three, understanding your child’s mind. As new information comes to light, empathy between you and your child will deepen. Going through the five-step process with your child often uncovers problems that are of greater significance than the original behavior. What had been unspeakable will become known, and a new and stronger alliance will form between you and your child.

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