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Laurie Hollman, Ph.D.

Author • Psychoanalyst • Artist

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Critical Thinking and the Importance of Plau

July 20, 2018 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

 

Play is often structured in games, sports, video games, and classes that teach something like karate or painting. But there are great advantages to unstructured play which is left to the imagination of the child. Without specific rules or an adult present.kids are left to use their own creativity to create narratives about whatever is on their minds. This may take the form of climbing a tree, building a fort out of couch pillows, or playing with superhero figures in a story. What ever form it takes, the child is the creator.

Critical Thinking

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: bad behavior, block play, child development, communication, critical thinking, figure play, flexibility, parental intelligence, parenting tips, parents, problem solving, self-confidence, self-esteem, theory of mind, Tolerating Frustration, Unlocking Parental Intelligence, unstructured play

Down with Negative Self-Thought

July 14, 2018 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

 

How do you suppress negative self=thought? Some of us our chronic thinkers. It’s important to parent ourselves well. Our minds are so busy we forget to listen to the quiet around us. If you are someone with negative self-talk, that’s the first thing to do: Just listen to the sounds or quiet around you and you will realize how much constant chatter is going on inside your head. Then as if you were an observer of your own mind, listen to the chronic debates you  have about your self that you are surrounding yourself with. Take a deep breath and start again. Think this time with reason not emotion. You will find that your talk changes to a more rational decision making process about whatever you are plagued with.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: anxiety, communication, depression, emotions, empathy, negative self-thought, parental intelligence, parenting tips, self-confidence, self-esteem, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Parenting Without Punishment

July 1, 2018 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Parenting without punishment is an unlikely concept to most parents. However, many tasks or rules we want followed feel like punishments to kids like chores, going to sleep on time, curfews, saying “No” to requests for material goods, and having limits on screen time of all types (phones, videos, T.V., computer youtubes, facebook, Instagram, twitter).  If, however, these reasonable limits are perceived as helpful to happy lives and explained at the time, it’s so easy not to think of them as restrictions or punishments.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: discipline, empathy, learning, listening, motherhood, parental intelligence, parenting, parenting tips, parents, punishment, self-confidence, self-discipline, self-esteem, teenagers, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Listening to Your Children and Teens

June 24, 2018 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Listen to your children and teens  is the core of the Parental Intelligence Way. When you are puzzled by their behavior or shaken by their emotions like anxiety or anger, the key is to understand what is on their minds by listening nonjudgementally, attentively, and lovingly. Here are some tips to help them talk:

  1. Ask “What’s the matter?”
  2. Let the child or teen talk until they are finished without interruption
  3. Ask them to tell you even more
  4. Then ask if they see other perspectives
  5. Volunteer your perspectives
  6. Discuss the alternative ways of looking at the problem
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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: anxiety, fathers, learning, listening, motherhood, mothers, parental intelligence, parenting tips, parents, self-confidence, self-esteem, teenagers, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Angry Reactions in Children and Teens

May 23, 2018 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

“Do you wonder why your child or teen seems on edge, unduly angry, and restless at times—or maybe all the time? Are you uncertain if and when you should be worried? Are you so busy that sometimes you dismiss these thoughts but later reconsider them? You may be noticing you have a frequently angry child or teen.” (Excerpt from The Busy Parent’s Guide to Managing Anger in Children and Teens: The Parental Intelligence Way.)

Signs of Excessive Anger in Children and Teens

  1. Raising his or her voice unnecessarily as if he or she expects not to be heard.
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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: angry kids, listening, motherhood, parental intelligence, parenting tips, self-confidence, self-esteem, teenagers, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

Building The Capacity for Empathy

August 13, 2017 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

The capacity for empathy begins to develop about four years old when children recognize the other person’s mind may be different than theirs. Before then a child may appear kind and notice the feelings of an other, but usually that’s because they see in the other person what they feel. They presume what they feel, the other person does, too. If they are correct, then they appear empathic but it won’t be a consistent capacity.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: bad behavior, child development, egocentgricity, emotional understanding, empathy, fears, feeling wordes, listening, love, motherhood, parental intelligence, parenting tips, self-esteem, self-reflection, teens, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence, worries, your child's mind

Understanding How Your Child’s Mind Works – Ages 3-9

May 11, 2016 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Do You Know How Your Child’s Mind Operates?

How Do They Think?

What goes on in your child’s mind? What do preschoolers mean when they say things? Do they understand intentions? Do they know they have a mind? What do they mean when they say phrases like, “he didn’t mean it,” “he did it on purpose.” Can a three-year-old actually lie while understanding what they are doing in a moral sense? What changes between ages three and four that allows the four-year-old to know the difference between what’s true and false? What happens between ages five to nine?

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: child development, empathy, listening, morality, parental intelligence, parenting tips, school, self-esteem, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

7 Ways to Develop Trust with Your Teen using Parental Intelligence

March 11, 2016 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

 Using Parental Intelligence with Your Teen

Parental Intelligence makes the parent-teenage relationship run smoothly.It’s so important to develop a trusting relationship with your teen. But teens like to feel independent. So how do you do it without feeling intrusive? How do you respect your teen’s need for autonomy and developing their own ways of doing things without feeling you are peering down at them with judgmental eyes?
These 5 steps help you unlock your Parental Intelligence.

These 5 steps help you unlock your Parental Intelligence.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: listening, parental intelligence, parenting tips, parents, self-esteem, teens, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

The New Year Bonanza in Parenting Books: Unlocking Parental Intelligence

January 8, 2016 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

Why do Children Do What they Do?
What’s on Their Minds?
How Can Parents Know their Child’s Inner World?

Unlocking Parental Intelligence lifts the curtain on these questions by helping parents become “meaningmakers” who understand the significance behind their kids’ behaviors. Experienced psychoanalyst Laurie Hollman, Ph.D., reveals five enlightening steps to help parents solve problems by learning what their kids think, want, intend and feel. Parents and professionals alike will find a new empathic approach from this uplifting book that will reshape families’ lives in 2016 and guide them through all stages of typical and atypical development.
Do you have a fussy baby?
Do you have a child with temper tantrums?
Are you struggling with your child with Asperger Syndrome?
Are you troubled about how to help your fidgety, inattentive child with ADHD?
Do you think your teen is depressed or lonely?
Are you an anxious mother who fears her anxiety affects her teen?
These and many other stories are written in accessible, gentle ways where you really get to know the mothers, the fathers, and the kids that you can relate to because they’re just like your kids.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: anxious kids, bad behavior, behavior, child development, listening, mothers, parental intelligence, parenting, parenting tips, self-esteem, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

My 14 New Year’s Resolutions using Parental Intelligence

December 26, 2015 by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Leave a Comment

5 steps A0011. When I face puzzling behaviors, I promise not to react immediately but Step Back, take my time calmly, and survey the situation.

2. I will become a “Meaning-Maker” which means I will take my time to understand the meaning behind a misbehavior. Only then will I know what to do.

3. I promise to see behavior as communication. My task will be to decipher the message.

4. I promise to Self-Reflect. I will think about how I feel when my child behaves in an unexpected manner.

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Filed Under: blog Tagged With: behavior, child development, children, empathy, holidays, listening, motherhood, mothering, parental intelligence, parenting, parenting tips, theory of mind, Unlocking Parental Intelligence

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