What is This Idea About Being Ordinary?
Ordinary is a word some kids use to describe themselves. They wish they had some quality they lack. Yet we also often hear kids of all ages say they want to fit in. Of course, they want to feel they belong.
Some want to be popular and care about appearances. Others want to feel they are in the smart group, the talented group, the funny group. So many feel, however, they are just ordinary and don’t know where they fit in.
But who is ordinary? What child could possibly be ordinary? It’s our job as parents to let each child know from infancy to childhood to adolescence that they are not and never will be ordinary.
6 Tips on How to Let Your Child Know
that Different is Great & Self-Defining
Each child deep down feels their differences and needs to know that their differences help define them and make them unique and desirable. We need to find ways to let each child know how their differences matter, are appealing, and special.
1. Let your child know that you recognize his special interests and the way he goes about learning and enjoying them. These interests belong to him. He doesn’t have them because they make him fit in with others. He has them because they fit him.
2. Let your child know that you like the way she thinks things over. However she goes about making decisions, plans, chooses her particular way that works for her. It may not be the most organized procedure, or maybe it is quite technical, but it’s her way that works for her and you’ve noticed and appreciated it.
3. Let your child know that she or he picks out clothes that seem to design her or him. Sometimes she wants to look like everybody else and if that’s her way, then that’s the right choice. Other times, he may want to spark up his individuality and not care what others think. That’s his way of defining himself, experimenting, challenging who he is and that’s the right choice for then.
4. Appreciate the way your child speaks. Maybe he has a chatty manner. Maybe she’s curt and direct. Maybe he or she is different in voice tone and facial expression depending on what’s going on. Each child has their own voice not only with the words they choose, but the way they put their sentences together in their own particular rhythm. There’s nothing ordinary about that.
5. Point out to your child his or her special strengths. They may show up in aspects of being academic, social, athletic, and creative. Whatever the combination of attributes, they define your child in his or her unique way that certainly isn’t ordinary.
6. Maybe your child likes to be surrounded by lots of people some of the time and maybe your child is more of a solitary one at times. There are all kinds of mixtures of friendliness and quietness but each person has their own styles.
If You Know You Have a Unique Sense of Self,
Ordinary Just Doesn’t Exist.
It’s our job as parents to let our kids know that however they are is just fine by us. Most important is that we want to encourage our kids to feel that how they are is fine with them. It’s okay to be your own person and like yourself. Being yourself is a precious gift. Letting our kids know this builds the parent-child bond and makes each child feel loveable and capable.