How Moms Make Friends in the Digital Age
Welcome To the The Mother magazine’s Blog Carnival: “Friendship and Connection” The Mother magazine is a holistic, natural mothering publication. It is with great pleasure that we share this topic with such a talented group of bloggers. You will find links to the each of the other posts at the end of this one. We hope you enjoy them!
How Moms Made Friends Before
Before the Internet, moms met each other at Mothers’ Centers, when they dropped off and picked up their kids from nursery school, at child birth classes, in their neighborhood where moms used to knock on each others’ doors for coffee and a chat, and at work.
As time rolled on, depending on how chatty they were, moms also met at Starbucks, Legoland, and parenting groups at schools. Moms formed play date groups, had girls’ nights out, and also met at sports if they were so inclined.
Then Came Mommy Blogs!
There are now hundreds of Mommy Blogs, so how do you choose who to link up with? Searching the web myself and starting my own blog, I’ve discovered that different websites and blogs attract different mommy personalities, beliefs, and discussions.
There are varied topics on the wide range of Mommy Blogs from recipes and diapers to behavior and parenting angst. Some topics are about activities and others about parent education such as child development.
Different Mommy Personalities, Interests, and Beliefs
Different bloggers invite different levels of candor and even bluntness about “real life” as a mom. Compare Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. at Parental Intelligence to Magnolia Ripkin at Blunt Moms. The vast majority of blogging moms are cordial, mind their etiquette, are nonjudgmental, supportive and kind. A few, however, are argumentative, confrontational, and intense, not my cup of tea.
Some moms are soul searching for other moms who are adjusting to the changes motherhood brings. Some mothers want to discuss husbands, partners, stay-at-home dads, working life, and being different shapes and sizes as a female.
Then there are bloggers who are in a specific country or locale and others who span the world.
How Do You Make Friends on Mommy Blogs?
Once you’ve settled in to your favorite blogs, you find a community. This is very much the way friend groups used to form in small geographic areas before blogging. Moms find other moms who seem to think alike and feel for each other. You even find “best friends” who you can tell the “real stuff” to who reply in a jiffy when you need it.
As Relationships Deepen
In time, you can get to know “who you’re talking to” and “to whom you can say what.” Pictures and videos help you conjure up what your friend looks like.
Then, certain moms begin to email so their conversations are more private than comments and replies on blog sites. These moms are focused on getting to know each other “from the inside.”
The biggest shift is when you use the telephone and hear a real voice behind the written word. Now, that’s making a friend. Or, you go to a mommy blogging conference and meet that friend or even fly across a country for a one-on-one meet!
Blogging Sites Have a Family Tone.
Sometimes moms have kids of similar ages, though they also benefit if there’s a range of ages, too. With different age kids discussed on one site, moms can look forward to what’s coming and share what’s gone on already with their children. This is like any family where members are of different ages.
As time flies by, which it always does when you’re a mom, you discover you are not alone. This is what friendship is about. You see in your friend’s face your reflection. You even mommy each other a bit. Friends do that.
Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst who specializes in infant-parent, child, adolescent, and adult psychotherapy. She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.
Thank you for visiting The Mother magazine blog carnival, read further and enjoy the other fantastic bloggers!
Hope in the Heartache, Light in the Darkness
“A child heats your lap with a fever that rages fire. Your chest heaves, holding an unimaginable weariness like a weight pinning you to the floor. Tears threaten at your lashes. In this moment you want to cry out; for help, for understanding…”
Follow Starr and The Mother magazine • Facebook • Twitter
The Mama Club
The Dream Friendship
“For me a true friendship is built on honesty, love, trust and belief in each other. When you have a friend with this kind of connection life is so much easier, especially the journey of motherhood.”
Follow Vicky from MOTHERING A DREAM
Twins and Friendship
“After I had my twins and the weeks turned into months I began to feel afraid the words may ring true. I began to feel estranged from my old self, as if she had died but I had just then realized it. I felt as if I were imprisoned in my own home…”
Follow Miranda from Twinning It • Facebook • Twitter
Where Moms Make Friends in the Digital Age
“Before the Internet, moms met each other at Mothers’ Centers, when they dropped off and picked up their kids from nursery school, at child birth classes, in their neighborhood where moms used to knock on each others’ doors for tea and a chat, and at work”
Follow Laurie Hollman, PhD • Facebook • Twitter
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