Blogging Dads Refute Research
What about Nurturing Fathers?
While blogging dads are on the rise, research in the last decade narrows the parenting field for fathers. It claims that fathers leave nurturing to mothers. Findings are that the province of fathers is to encourage children to explore the world and cope with trying challenging things on their own. Fathers do all that, but even more!
In my experience, bloggging dads and lot of other fathers today are involved in pregnancy, hold their infants in the delivery room after cutting the mommy cord, feed their babies and rock them to sleep. These are nurturing fathers. Lots of them are stay-at-home dads or wish they could afford to be.
Fathers today are more involved in raising children than ever before. Blogging dads give the evidence. They share the care and feeding of their children with mothers. Mothers encourage this and everyone benefits.
How Do Fathers’ Hold Their Babies?
The research says that the mother holds her baby in the crook of her neck, so the baby looks at her. In contrast, fathers generally hold the baby’s bum in his upturned hand to the side of his chest, cocked away from his body, so he sees the world.
Here’s an experiment.
With no explanation, if you’re a mom, take a doll or a pillow that you role play is a baby and give it to your husband. Spontaneously say, “Hold the baby.” See what he does. My husband held the doll in a rocking position. What does yours do?
Are Fathers the Only Ones Who Support
Independence in Their Children?
I’m a psychoanalyst. I study and do research. So, I’m not the usual one to debunk it. But I think fathers are much more nurturing than they are given credit for. Blogging dads are teaching us all about this.
And, I’ll add, I think mothers today encourage their children to go out in the world and be independent more than they are given credit for.
Who Takes the Kids to Explore the World?
Here is a recent research finding: Mothers tend to pick up their babies to feed or care for them providing “maintenance.” While fathers pick up their children to do things with them. The things they do involve more play and discovery than pure “maintenance.”
If you read very current books or articles by blogging dads including Stay-at-Home Dads, who are surely on the rise, these guys fold laundry, cook, vacuum, hold and feed their children. Working dads do this, too. This is warm “maintenance” and nurturing.
Not only that, but what about the mothers who go on trampolines, take their kids to science museums, swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, as well as, play Legos, build with clay, take adventures in the woods, and teach their kids how to use tools. Oh, I forgot. Moms also bake bread. Does that mean they only do maintenance? Ple-e-e-z-e.
And of course I want to add that fathers do all that driving and playing, too, because it’s nurturing. Nurturing is about providing security, love, and learning. That’s what Dads do.
Does Gender Matter?
This is a new concept I’ve only coined in the past few years, but have practiced it my whole mothering life. In my psychotherapy practice, the parents learn to Unlock their Parental Intelligence.
Does Gender Matter when it comes to learning the steps of Parental Intelligence?
Part of Parental Intelligence is being able to reflect on your feelings about your kids and reactions to their behavior. Decades ago, I have to admit, it was generally believed that women were more likely to be self-reflective about their feelings than men.
But today, I don’t find that to be the case at all. Nurturing fathers own their feelings and express them.
Understanding Your Child’s Mind
Today, both mothers and fathers are very curious about understanding their child’s mind. They want to know how to find out what their kids are thinking, feeling, intending, imagining. They seek parenting advice on how to do this.
Understanding Your Child’s Mind is an essential part of Parental Intelligence. Nurturing fathers are involved in this exploration.
Understanding Your Child’s Development
Years ago I think you’d see that book on child development on the mother’s side of the bed. But today, men want to read about what to expect with the changes parenthood brings to their life.
They want to know about their child’s milestones. They recognize that children develop at different paces because they are nurturing fathers.
So, I think I’ve made my case. Fathers Today Are Nurturing. Blogging Dads are writing in increasing numbers.
And the world is better off for it. Go DADS!
Open the Window to Nurturing Dads
Enjoy video about Underestimating Dads! Then, comment with your opinions about what you have read!