If you wish to breast feed let me share with you the wonderful moments that I remember with my baby. Sitting in a comfy chair in the middle of the night when all is calm and quiet and it’s just you and your baby there’s nothing like that moment of feeling your infant at your breast nursing quietly skin to skin. It’s a feeling of utter meditation that you can only learn for yourself. It’s a moment of quiet reflection focused on your baby with no one or nothing interfering. It’s a moment of peaceful joy. Yes, you are nourishing your infant. Yes, you are feeding him nutrients and imunities. But at that moment in the middle of the night, you are alone with your bonded sweetheart in a way you won’t forget. Together you feel like one being. It’s not something anyone can ever take away and you and your little soul feel like a strong breath of air surrounds you ever so gently.
I know you will hear about the inconveniences and conveniences of breastfeeding. You will struggle with pumping if you work and learn the ins and outs of that process. You will find that everyone has an opinion about what you are doing, but it’s only you and the infant who matter. This is your decision. Your choice and that’s the right one. I only encourage breastfeeding not as an infant-parent psychotherapist which I am, not as a psychoanalyst and author of parenting books, but as a mother, a mommy who recalls her moments alone at night. It was only me and my little one secure in the moonlight sharing a bliss that can’t be expressed (though I’m trying) that is yours forever.
When that baby is grown into a man, you still recall the pleasure you received that again I say, no one can take away. It’s your moment of giving and taking that is seamless and joyful. You feel an elation, a thrill, an ecstatic set of minutes that you want to prolong into the night. Only you will ever know that emotional tie that stays in your mind and heart.
When my son was grown I found a little book about babies where I had written some notes about the times I fed him. It was such a surprise to rediscover these times and days of the week because I knew each one was a joyful one.
I nursed for seven months and was fortunate enough to be a stay at home mother on maternity leave at that time. So I nursed everywhere without any modesty and got a secret pleasure out of the looks I got. I was humble and mostly covered but filled with pride. No matter how many achievements I’ve had during the years that followed, these were my moments.